There are many methods used to teach marriage education, tools for marriage, psycho-educational seminars, workshops, therapy, relationship coaching and more. Over 30 years of practice, I have offered them all. One couple did not respond well to any of the 'methods' I tried. One day I suggested re-phrasing the lessons they were trying to integrate. To my surprise they 'got it.' Here is how they finally heard me:

1. Description of a problem in relationship: One of you has an issue, emotional pain or pressure that is relationship related.

Solution: Wait until that pressure blows over. If the pain does not go away, sweep it under the rug. If you take things literally and in case you don't own a rug, well, maybe if the two of you go out shopping for a rug the problem will be solved.

2. Problem: One of you is always complaining on the limitations of your budget and how the financial debts are killing the mood.

Solution: When your partner has finally found a second job; make sure to notice and count the days and hours they are absent. Especially, find ways to point out how they are always too tired to notice you, complement you and spend time together.

3. Difficulties for parents with young children: When your kids demand toys and things:

One of you should agree with the poor children. Insist that by disagreeing with each other in front of the kids, the next generation will observe democracy at home and a fair balance.

4. When in public, in social events and among extended family members make sure you practice being: understanding, charming, open-minded, generous, affectionate and sensuous.

When with your spouse/partner privately: don't.

5. The success of winning an argument depends on your ability to get up, leave the room and slam the door behind you. That will show them!

6. As you know: life is very short. Therefore live as if you live alone in that household; don't pick up or clean up after yourself. Don't waste time consulting each other when redecorating, remodeling etc... Don't share feelings of joy or sorrow; that will really throw your timing off.

7. The routine of sexual life is very important: make sure you make love in the same place, same day of the week, even at the same time. If you are a real perfectionist, try to climax at the same time...

8. Fidelity is a very crucial value in marriage. Always demand fidelity. And in every opportunity refuse intimate bonding, affection and closeness as your best weapon in the relationship.

9. When and if you think you are right and just; don't give in! Insist that your opinion is justified. Give it a little time; you'll see how they will cave in under your pressure.

10. Dissatisfaction in sexual happiness?

Don't share your feelings with your spouse. However, if you have best friends, or better yet, a group of friends ask for their advice. In any case do not call me for consultation, therapy or coaching.